What Truly Controls Our Destiny?
- Jason Chan
- Jul 15
- 2 min read
Reflections from a Real-Life Story and the Wisdom of the I Ching
We often ask ourselves: What controls a person's fate? Is it our background, education, connections, luck—or perhaps something deeper and less visible?
I recently came across a real-life story that gave me a profound answer. After reading this, you might begin to view destiny in an entirely new light.
The Demolition Engineer's Story
He was a skilled demolition engineer—diligent, capable, and precise. A man who took his work and responsibilities seriously.
One day, he went out to buy a birthday cake for his daughter. It was a happy occasion, and he was in great spirits. After parking his car near the cake shop, he went inside, excited to surprise his child.
But when he came out, his joy turned into shock—his car had been towed away.
He had unknowingly parked in a no-parking zone, one without any visible signs.
Faced with the situation, he hesitated: Should I go home and celebrate my daughter’s birthday—or argue with the towing company to get my car back?
He chose the latter.
At the towing company, he argued for a long time but achieved nothing. By the time he returned home, he had missed the birthday celebration. His daughter was disappointed, and his emotions unraveled.
The next day, he returned to the towing company in frustration and smashed one of their windows.
That single act of impulse triggered a cascade of consequences:His company dismissed him for poor emotional control.His wife, overwhelmed by the financial and emotional instability, asked for a divorce.And in the depths of his breakdown, he made a fateful decision—he designed an explosion and destroyed the towing company's building.
He was arrested and sentenced to prison.
His family was gone. His career ended. His freedom lost.
What Controlled His Destiny?
It wasn’t external injustice. It wasn’t bad luck. It wasn’t even the towing company.
It was his emotions.
Had he been able to regulate his emotional state—if he had paused, breathed, and redirected his anger—his story could have turned out very differently.
The I Ching Says: “Auspiciousness or Misfortune Arises from Emotion.” （吉凶以情迁）
This ancient wisdom tells us that our emotional state is the seed of our fate. When we let emotions run unchecked—anger, pride, sorrow, or fear—we become vulnerable to making choices that sabotage our lives.
But if we learn to manage our inner world, we gain the power to steer our destiny, no matter what challenges arise externally.
Managing Emotion Is Managing Destiny
Fate doesn’t just happen to us. We co-create it through our responses.
Every time we practice emotional awareness and regulation—especially in moments of stress—we reclaim a part of our future. Emotions are not our enemies. They are signals, not commands. By mastering them, we master our path.
If you’ve ever felt that life is unfair or that fate is out of your hands, I invite you to pause and reflect on this story.
Because sometimes, the most powerful tool for changing your destiny… is already within you.
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